Making peace with our world(s)

It was a simple prayer that my husband prayed, and which I’ve reproduced above. But it moved me in a way that the simplest things sometimes do—in that way that the simplest things sometimes move us all. And suddenly, I felt my eyes swimming.

I suspect that my unconscious, instant emotional response arose because, despite Doug’s profound cognitive losses, he hit the nail on the head. He articulated what I believe is key to finding our way in this life.

Photo: Nick Gardner, Unsplash

There’s so much that goes on around us that we can neither control nor understand. War. Geopolitical unrest. Planes falling from the sky. Environmental disasters. Poverty, mental illness, and homelessness. Disease and death. Human beings perpetrating outright evil on other human beings.

In the midst of it all, we need to find a way to make our peace with this world and to make a positive difference wherever and however we can. Otherwise, we can go mad with trying to come to terms with it all and with our lack of understanding.

Decades ago, Doug put his trust in Christ. And while I see evidence today of so much confusion in and about his faith where once there was none, I am grateful that he continues to find Jesus to be an anchor amid the storm in which we are all living, and in the particular storm in which Doug is living, that is, neurodegenerative decline.

For context: when he prayed that prayer, he had been watching the morning news as he likes to do.

We sat down to have our time of Morning Prayer together, as is our practice.

And while he made a valiant effort when we first began to pray, he stumbled, searching for too many words and concepts as he now regularly does. Soon, he gave up that effort and was quiet.

I was quiet too.

That’s when he prayed this simple prayer:

When he told his Lord, “I don’t know what’s happening,” it wasn’t clear to me whether Doug was referring to the world events about which he’d been hearing just minutes before, or if he was speaking of his brain’s failure to find specific words to pray.

But I didn’t ask. It didn’t matter. Because I knew that Jesus knew.

And he loves Doug, too.

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“While mental health challenges can cause great suffering and distress, it is possible to find hope and faith in the midst of the wildest storms.”

– John Swinton, “Finding Jesus in the Storm: The Spiritual Lives of Christians with Mental Health Challenges”

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A note to readers: Since early January, when I launched this Substack, I have published weekly reflections here every Saturday morning. With the glorious summer weather upon us, I plan to take a bit of a break over the next several weeks, so you will hear from me less regularly. If you’d like to dig into the archives, you can find them here.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting these past six months. It means so much to me to have this place to process our lives and to experience your companionship on this journey.