Patricia we become interlopers with you, seeing your circumstances and response, then applying that to our own life’s. This mirror is therapeutic and a wisdom offering. Thanks for keeping us on the ride.
What a great post. A happy outcome after giving the situation much thought to help it work out. Doug is very social...maybe after sitting with being uneasy about this program it just finally clicked for him. Patience in all things. So happy for you both!
Thoughts we can all benefit from whether we have a loved one with dementia or not. Thank you Patricia. If this is your current location it's a blessing to all.
This was a great post. We all walk such a fine line between caregiving of our loved ones and caretaking of ourselves. Always trying to remain sensitive to the emotions of our loved ones and questioning if our emotions will ever be dealt with.
Thank you for being here, Tahia. I have days when I think I’m doing well with it all, and others when it feels like just the opposite. One day at a time.
Thanks Patricia for this example of patience and wisdom. I am fairly new to the challenge of supporting a wife with dementia. So I need all the help I can get. Hiring a caregiver for three mornings a week has been most helpful for me.
That’s so good, Elmer! I’m really happy for you that you can get those three mornings. Taking time for yourself will ultimately pay dividends in the quality of care you are able to provide and oversee for your wife. May you find strength for the journey.
I felt this one in my soul. I'm always amazed by the ways dementia changes those we love, but to watch you find a gentle way to help Doug set his resistance aside--just long enough to find his footing in this new experience--was amazing. Big hugs to you. ❤️
Oof, our circumstances are different, but I felt this article with my entire being. What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing. My adult son goes to work with my husband every other Friday so that I may get a bit of respite. At first, he didn't want to go either. Over time, he adjsuted and it's now part of his routine. The road here wasn't easy, but I also believed in my mission and kept my eye on where we needed to go. Beautiful words. Thanks again.
Thank you, Sara. Thank you for being here, and for saying so. I tell myself not to feel guilty about needing alone time. My husband and I always had the kind of marriage where we encouraged each other to pursue our separate interests. I think it deepened our appreciation for each other's differences. It's got to be a challenge on a whole different level to care for an adult child in the way that you are. I celebrate the stamina, wisdom and resolve in what you are doing, believing it to be the best for all of you.
Smart move with the February deadline. Dementia can’t hold on to “forever,” but it can hold a short finish line just long enough to forget it was there.What got me was him helping with coats. That’s not him “adjusting.” FTD strips the role first, and he basically rebuilt one from scratch in a room full of people he didn’t even want to be around three months ago.One free day a week doesn’t sound like much until someone takes it away.
What a great solution. You persevered! Glad you have that day for yourself. You picked the right amount of time for your deadline to work its magic. Bravo!💜
Thank you for sharing, Patricia. My heart cinched up when I was reading this. While my Dad didn't have FTD, his vascular dementia led to countless contentious 'push-pulls'...I won't go into all the details, just say that there was often a big, dark, passive-aggressive-compliance cloud and the swings to self-recriminations...labels, I found much later that fit his mood. All heartbreaking.
I'm applauding your smart approach. To use Kyra Bobinet's term from that Habenula article - I'm always impressed by the creative solutions and 'MacGyver'isms' caregivers come up with! Must save yours in case others can read it and decide if it's appropriate for them!
Patricia we become interlopers with you, seeing your circumstances and response, then applying that to our own life’s. This mirror is therapeutic and a wisdom offering. Thanks for keeping us on the ride.
Thank you for being “on the ride” with me, Brian, and for saying so. ❤️
Doug is probably very popular at the center. I’m glad you persevered.
Breathe. I’ll remember. Thank you.
What a great post. A happy outcome after giving the situation much thought to help it work out. Doug is very social...maybe after sitting with being uneasy about this program it just finally clicked for him. Patience in all things. So happy for you both!
Thank you, friend. Seeing him happy to go, and feeling happy to have that day to myself means everything.
Thoughts we can all benefit from whether we have a loved one with dementia or not. Thank you Patricia. If this is your current location it's a blessing to all.
That is really, really affirming, Alex. Thank you. 😘
This was a great post. We all walk such a fine line between caregiving of our loved ones and caretaking of ourselves. Always trying to remain sensitive to the emotions of our loved ones and questioning if our emotions will ever be dealt with.
Thank you for being here, Tahia. I have days when I think I’m doing well with it all, and others when it feels like just the opposite. One day at a time.
Thanks Patricia for this example of patience and wisdom. I am fairly new to the challenge of supporting a wife with dementia. So I need all the help I can get. Hiring a caregiver for three mornings a week has been most helpful for me.
That’s so good, Elmer! I’m really happy for you that you can get those three mornings. Taking time for yourself will ultimately pay dividends in the quality of care you are able to provide and oversee for your wife. May you find strength for the journey.
I felt this one in my soul. I'm always amazed by the ways dementia changes those we love, but to watch you find a gentle way to help Doug set his resistance aside--just long enough to find his footing in this new experience--was amazing. Big hugs to you. ❤️
It felt far from gentle in the midst of things, Pam. But it heartens me to hear your observation. Thank you - again and always - for being here. ❤️
Oof, our circumstances are different, but I felt this article with my entire being. What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing. My adult son goes to work with my husband every other Friday so that I may get a bit of respite. At first, he didn't want to go either. Over time, he adjsuted and it's now part of his routine. The road here wasn't easy, but I also believed in my mission and kept my eye on where we needed to go. Beautiful words. Thanks again.
Thank you, Sara. Thank you for being here, and for saying so. I tell myself not to feel guilty about needing alone time. My husband and I always had the kind of marriage where we encouraged each other to pursue our separate interests. I think it deepened our appreciation for each other's differences. It's got to be a challenge on a whole different level to care for an adult child in the way that you are. I celebrate the stamina, wisdom and resolve in what you are doing, believing it to be the best for all of you.
Thank you.
Smart move with the February deadline. Dementia can’t hold on to “forever,” but it can hold a short finish line just long enough to forget it was there.What got me was him helping with coats. That’s not him “adjusting.” FTD strips the role first, and he basically rebuilt one from scratch in a room full of people he didn’t even want to be around three months ago.One free day a week doesn’t sound like much until someone takes it away.
😭
This is poignantly beautiful at many levels. I'll be pondering this essay for awhile.
Thank you so much, Julie. I appreciate you being here and saying so. ❤️
What a great solution. You persevered! Glad you have that day for yourself. You picked the right amount of time for your deadline to work its magic. Bravo!💜
Thank you, Melissa! Glad to find you here. ❤️
Thank you for sharing, Patricia. My heart cinched up when I was reading this. While my Dad didn't have FTD, his vascular dementia led to countless contentious 'push-pulls'...I won't go into all the details, just say that there was often a big, dark, passive-aggressive-compliance cloud and the swings to self-recriminations...labels, I found much later that fit his mood. All heartbreaking.
I'm applauding your smart approach. To use Kyra Bobinet's term from that Habenula article - I'm always impressed by the creative solutions and 'MacGyver'isms' caregivers come up with! Must save yours in case others can read it and decide if it's appropriate for them!
Thank you, Victoria. 💕