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Vance Frost's avatar

Those little yellow capsules. The grandson out on the balcony, gawking at the garbage truck. That's the whole picture right there, Patricia, the one you came this close to not having left.

When that email landed I just confirmed what you'd already half-figured out yourself. Here's the thing though, it's not in the post and it's worth saying. Sertraline wasn't slipped to you as the "gentler option." For frontotemporal it's the front of the line, has been for ages, that's just how it gets prescribed. Quetiapine's the one wearing an FDA black box since 2005, a straight-up mortality warning, and people with FTD tend to come apart worse on that whole class of drug than most. So "I can give you something right now" basically dropped the single most dangerous one of the lot into your hand. The right stuff was one phone call away. Nobody could be bothered to make that call until you were the one who grabbed the phone.

And this part isn't sad, it pisses me off. Not because the doctor's some villain. Because the pill got spat out on autopilot, on reflex, instead of anyone sitting down for one second to think about Doug specifically and his diagnosis specifically. Loading the man up with one more drug is the path of least resistance, so the path of least resistance is what you got.

Only you were looking at something else entirely. You were hunting for a way to lift even a little of the weight off the man you love. All these years beside him, you know him better than any machine in that room ever could, and you smelled that something was wrong long before it dawned on anyone behind the desk. Call it God's hand, I won't argue. It just worked that day through you sitting down, reading, getting uneasy at the right moment, hitting the brakes in time. The hands were yours.

Anyway. Your mum and her one lonely Tylenol. Looks like that one really stuck.

Searching for the Words's avatar

Dear Vance. God used you. Let that sink in and believe it. I do. And I will forever be grateful. 💕

Vance Frost's avatar

Grateful it landed when it did. Give my best to Doug. 💕

Judith Paulsen's avatar

Patricia, thank you for sharing your and Doug's journey. You are teaching me so much; about dementia, yes, but also about faith, life, and love. I'm so very grateful this medication is helping with his symptoms, and allowing for more small moments of joy and wonder.

Searching for the Words's avatar

Judy - I'm honoured to know you are here. Thank you for reading and commenting. It is received as the support and encouragement I know you mean it to be. ❤️

Joanne Whidden's avatar

I am so happy for you that this medication is helping Doug so much and especially in the area of his grandson so that he can spend time with them. It post has been hopeful for me too as Warren has FTD and he has Scott obsessive compulsive Disorder now really bad and he never had any of this before. He is obsessed with picking up little pieces of dirt off the floor constantly. His words are failing very quickly. These posts always help me in someway and I can always relate. Thank you again for sharing your heart and your life with us in these blogs. God bless.

Searching for the Words's avatar

I’m so sorry Joanne. You guys have lived with this for so, so long. Doug picks bits of fluff off the floor too, and stray hairs off my shoulders and stones on the sidewalk. I hope he can find some relief - and that you and your girls can too. Sending hugs to you. 🤗

Lynne Barclay's avatar

I always think it is one of the most difficult things to do...make a serious decision that affects another person's life. I always hope that if someone were making such a decision for myself or my loved ones, they would research and give serious thought first and then add some intuition, from that point you just have to do the best you can. Thats what you did Patti. Doug is very fortunate to have you by his side.

Searching for the Words's avatar

This is what marriage is, isn’t it my friend? He was there for me for so long, happily bearing the weight of so many decisions for us, for our family. It's what we sign up for when we say “I do.” 💕

Sherri Ealey's avatar

❤️

Lynda MacGibbon's avatar

How lovely to read of this respite, of space to breathe.

Searching for the Words's avatar

Thank you, Lynda. It’s lovely to be living it. 💕

Janet's avatar

Yay. Just yay. I'm crying, because I'm so happy for your family. This is good news. Yay.

Searching for the Words's avatar

Thank you, friend. ❤️

Alice Henry's avatar

Wonderful to hear a drug success story . Thank you for sharing.

Searching for the Words's avatar

Thank you for being here, Alice.

Clare Kooistra's avatar

Such great news Patricia!!!

Searching for the Words's avatar

Yes. It's been good. 💕

Elmer Thiessen's avatar

Thanks Patricia for this post. I look forward to your posts each Saturday. Always an encouragement for me. A Geriatric Clinic prescribed Celexa early in my wife's struggle with dementia to help with her depression. It has helped tremendously. Indeed, she is doing very well in the last two months, given the reduction of the medication (Tetrabenzine) to control her involuntary movements. We are thankful for the reprieve.

Searching for the Words's avatar

Thank you for being a part of this little community, Elmer. I am thankful if you find encouragement here. I rejoice to hear that your wife’s meds are helping. We need to find and relish all the good that we can, don’t we? God bless you both.

Lorrie Orr's avatar

You are a wonderful advocate for Doug.

Searching for the Words's avatar

Thank you, Lorrie. Hearing that means everything. But I know there are millions more like me everywhere fighting for their loved ones who can't fight for themselves, doing their best, hoping their best will be enough to make a difference.

Brian Stiller's avatar

As good as our Canadian health system is, each of us needs an advocate. You’re that in spades.

Kath Kazmaier's avatar

God’s good gifts come in so many different forms…oh, for eyes to see! Thinking of you and praying for you both…💕

Searching for the Words's avatar

Thank you, Kathy. I feel like we are being held in the palm of His hand. ❤️